I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
