Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
