do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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