Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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