Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i need some magic done to my vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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