So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
