She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't deserve a penis
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
