He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize