Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
