You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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