It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found your dick twin last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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