Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
