Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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