Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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