Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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