so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
