just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so let's talk penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
