Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
