Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
