He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
