I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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