thus making me awesome and them whores
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
