So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
