do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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