see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
