I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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