there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
