Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
