Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize