It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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