I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
