he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
