if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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