Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
