They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
