he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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