Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
