You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
