I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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