a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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