He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize