I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
