Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
