you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
