you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
