Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
