do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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