Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
