Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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