I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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