We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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