i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
