How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
