just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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