I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
