How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
