Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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