I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
