Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
